First Run After Rest

Yesterday I dragged myself out of the house to do my first run after one week of rest. I stuck to 30 minutes, and despite not figuring out how to set my Garmin to beep at me when my heart rate went over 148 bpm, I was pleased with how I did. I ended up doing 2.79 miles in those 30 minutes, and stayed rather consistently under 11 minutes per mile the entire time.

My joints, however, are not feeling so good today. Specifically, my big toe joint (bunion) was particularly unhappy. I've been using my Healthy Toes after runs and in the evening to stretch my toes out. I have no evidence this will do anything, but it's kind of fun, and I like the idea that it might help. I also picked up some Boiron Sportenine at my local co-op over the weekend, with the hopes that the homeopathic (or placebo) might work to ease some of my training pain.

I definitely woke up to full body aches this morning, though I feel like I slept better. Emotionally, I feel a bit more on-edge, and a little more anxious. I'm not entirely sure that strenuous exercise is good for me. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going about this wrong.

I plan to try another run tomorrow, to get myself back in the routine. Again, I don't plan on doing more than 30 minutes.

I feel like I'm trying to walk a tight-rope between health and well-being. Every day I'm inundated with different ideas of what health can be. I just hope I'm choosing the best path.

Week of Rest Near End

Tomorrow rounds up my week of rest since I came to the conclusion that I was overtraining.

So far, I've managed to do pretty well, despite the fact that I've been wanting to eat more despite not burning as many calories. My joints are finally starting to not complain as much, though the rain has made my bunions particularly painful when I'm walking outside.

A few friends that I've talked to have convinced me that I don't need to run a full marathon. At this point (and after reading up on it) I'm questioning even a half marathon. I want to do it right - not just do it for the sake of doing it. I also don't want to cause myself a lot of damage. I've already got painful bunions, I really don't need a bum knee, wrenched back, or anything like that.

I hesitate, because part of me wanted to be awesome. I think that running is awesome (and fun), but I also have respect for competitive distance runners, who are perhaps more crazy than I, but have what it takes to get into the Boston Marathon. I've heard rumors that some old-school runners bemoan the fact that average times for marathons have decreased over the years, mostly due to people like me entering the sport at a lower level, and doing it for the sake of doing it, instead of elite athlete competition.

Let's face it - our country could use more of the idea that being active is fun. For all of us who sit behind a computer, tv, video game for most of the day - it's good to have a hobby that actually peels us up from our chairs. Competition and/or challenge and community are just some of what makes a hobby worth it. Not to mention the pride of completion, be it a sweater for your best girlfriend or a 5K. A friend of mine tried to convince me that swimming may be the best fitness, especially for its low-impact and high reward (if you really swim instead of just hopping in the pool.)

The past month or so I've been living off of endorphins. I've found out that I don't get a defined high from running, but I do get a respite from my troubles. As another friend (I've been listening to a lot of friends) said to me, it's a way to help you feel less pain so you can go the distance. Emotional pain seems to be another thing it softens, but I can tell you, the backlash these past few weeks have been horrible. Very topsy-turvy.

I look forward to my next run - which may be only 20 minutes long, and likely, on Thursday. I look forward to seeing how my body takes it, if my new Garmin was a good choice, and if I think that the Team in Training will be reasonable.

I'm still on the fence about the Team in Training, mainly because I need to take care of myself first. Mentally and physically.

Coming to Grips with Overtraining

I don't have an actual diagnosis of overtraining. What I do have is a cluster of symptoms, and an itchy feeling in the back of my brain that I need to take some time off (while having the compulsive urge to push on.)

Here's a bit of a time line.

Early March, I purchased a new pair of running shoes after more than a few months of not running, but primarily doing elliptical training at the gym. That was just over a month and a half ago. While I was doing regular work-outs at the gym, with cardio and strength training, I know I wasn't really pushing that hard, even if I was going for 45 minutes of cardio. With my new running shoes, I started back with my 30 minute walk/run, doing about 2.15 miles in 30 minutes, at best. This is almost average for me.

I can't remember exactly when I got bitten by the bug to train - maybe it was just the neighborhood 5K that I did a month ago. (Was it only a month ago?!) In a matter of weeks, I doubled my mileage and duration. I didn't slowly amp-up, no - I went straight for it. I have become faster, and just yesterday did a painful 20 minute jog under a 11 min/mi pace! I was even walking faster! However, I woke up this morning (actually, throughout the night) to my muscles being sore and tight again, and feeling a general sense of anxiety and dread. I loved the calorie burn pay-off I was getting from all that training I was doing. However, the flood of adrenaline to my body from training is not loving my psyche.

Running makes me feel like a superwoman when I'm in the moment, and the run is good. My body feels battered right now, my psyche feels battered, I'm wanting to quit running, while simultaneously wanting to have the strength and will to hit the pavement.

Overtraining has the symptom of decreased performance - and I don't know if I've got that yet (although yesterday's run that didn't last more than 20 minutes may count.) I certainly have some of the physiological and psychological effects. (TMI: My period was over 10 days late, which can be another symptom of overtraining.) I'm frustrated with my body right now, the same way I get frustrated when I'm sick. My body is just not wanting to cooperate with what my mind wants to do.

Maybe this is an opportunity to be still, and be mindful. Maybe, just maybe, I need to take a week off. A real week. Not just a couple days (as I did earlier this week.)

What will I write about here? Not training? I'm sure that my 3 readers will read anyway. For everyone else that might stumble upon this blog - stay tuned.

Recommended links:

Overtraining and Injury Prevention
PDF Overtraining and Amenorrhea
Preventing Overtraining

Calling the Run

I've been a diver since around February 2008 when I was certified by Girl Diver. One of the most important rules of diving (aside from diving with a buddy) is that anyone can call a dive, for any reason, at any time. This means that if you get geared up, and don't even step in the water, you can say, "I'm not feeling it." Or maybe (like happened to me once) you get stung by a jellyfish IN THE FACE, and you think, "Ow, I'm not going to continue this dive, I'm going up."

Of course, running is a solo thing for me. There's no turning to my buddy and saying, (signing) that I'm not sure I want to continue the run. There's no one saying back to me, "Hey, let's end this (run)." So there I was, after a pasta meal, 2 miles under my belt already and a good pace, and I was getting serious waves of nausea and stomach pain.

I've never had that kind of pain before - my husband complains of such things, though, when he exercises on a full stomach. It's never been a problem with me - but then again, I've not been running with this kind of intensity before, and also - my Garmin needed to be charged, and was possibly being inaccurate with my heart rate.

Oops.

I ended up walking for the last 9 or so minutes of my 30 minute run. I also ended up skipping the kick-off for the Team in Training. The first run with them is Saturday, and I don't plan on missing that. Here's hoping tomorrow's run will go a bit more smoothly.

Rest Day Healing and Charity Binders

I nearly missed my scheduled acupuncture appointment all together today, but I'm glad I didn't. My body is slowly starting to feel better after the punishing doubling of my training over the past couple weeks. The training exhausted me, and I'm convinced threw my hormones out of whack. Slow and steady! Embrace it!

On my way out of my appointment I passed Westlake Center where the usual charity binder guys were trying to get my attention. Usually I tell them kindly that I'm not interested, other times, I let them know that I'm unemployed and volunteer my time at a local non-profit, but today I shouted "I have $3200 to raise for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!"

He stood bugeyed and then responded, "How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know, I was thinking of grabbing s binder and doing what you do."

He said, "It works."

I don't know about it working for me.

Goal Oriented Rest Days

A friend of mine recently proclaimed his pride in my fitness accomplishments. I've gotten this a few times recently as I've been talking more and more about my training. I shrug it off - for one, I'm a bit self-conscious, and for two - my accomplishments are often a benefit of my neurosis.

A few years ago, my doctor told me that I was "goal oriented." She's a rare physician that actually takes time to talk and listen to me, and frankly, this was the first time I realized that my compulsive need to finish what I start, when I have a goal in mind, could work to my benefit. I was over a hundred pounds over weight at the time, and I had a specific goal in mind (it was not scale related, but health related). I joined Weight Watchers that weekend with the goal being to just try it, and not to expect any other results but to just add some accountability to my life.

My inability to give up on a goal has led me to lose almost 100 lbs through Weight Watchers over the past two years. I've had some bumps and setbacks, but my compulsion to do it right (track what I eat, make the right choices for the given day/week, not over-do it) has paid off.

Now I have a new goal - to run a distance that in my whole life, I never thought I'd do. Frankly, even running a 5K or a mile seemed crazy. My current weight is what it was at age 13 (and I'm still overweight.) I've never had this skill until now. I'm shooting for my goal - and frankly, I've been training too hard the past couple weeks.

I know this because I ache all the time. I was jumping up to running for over an hour before I got really comfortable with just running 30 minutes regularly. I was excited. I realized, "hey, I can do it! It didn't kill me!" But that's not a measure for success.

Despite the fact that I want to run today - and tomorrow, I'm taking a couple days off before I start up with my official Team in Training schedule. I'm considering taking a yoga-for-runners class. I know I've mentioned it before - but being still is just as important as running, and is probably harder for me to do.

So this is a reminder to myself - and to those out there that are like me - rest days are important, and are goal oriented. You can't train if you don't let your body recuperate. Your body will fail you.

Recipe Sunday: Favorite Salad, Tuna and Greens

Here's a quick and easy recipe that is just about one of my favorites. It uses Fishing Vessel St. Jude's Wild Troll Caught Pacific Albacore tuna (which is superior to what you find at most grocery stores due to mercury and sustainability issues). We also use our favorite greens (Wild and Spicy Mix) from Alm Hill (also at the Ballard Farmer's Market.)

Here's the basics:

Lemon French Salad Dressing

1/2 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoon sugar
4 teaspoon paprika
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1 pinch cayenne pepper
3/4 cup Olive Oil

Combine all but the olive oil in a blender or container that you can use with an immersion blender. While the blender is running, slowly add in the olive oil so it emulsifies, about 30-60 seconds, or until well blended. Store in an air tight container in the refrigerator.

The salad:

Take the greens of your choice (I'd say about 2 cups per bowl) and pile them high in a bowl. This is where you can get creative. Some of my favorite toppings include kalamata olives, avocado and tomato. Then there's my standard 6 oz can of tuna nicely shredded up on top (use anything you like for protein, chicken, nuts, tofu, whatever.) Pour on the dressing, and you have a refreshing, tasty salad. A mainstay of my summer diet. One can of tuna usually equals two portions. Use left over dressing for salads throughout the week!

Day Off of Training (Plus note to readers)

Today was a running day, but I was feeling absolutely beat. I ached everywhere - partially due to starting to do yoga again. Then there was the four mile run I did on Thursday, and the five mile walk I did yesterday. I'm just working myself too hard, too fast.

I decided to take a long bath and read again from the Runner's World Complete Book of Women's Running. Again, I was reminded that I should be easier on myself, as a novice, train a little slower, and train for time, not for mileage. Instead of going out for 4 miles, I should be going out for 40 minutes. I need to just chill out, especially to keep my injuries to a minimum. I think I'll do an easy run tomorrow, maybe just a 30 minute (and ignore the mileage) and just have fun. I need to not work myself so hard.

I have started to look at the Team in Training official marathon training schedule for the Fall season. It's not unlike what the book I have recommends. Slow and steady, right? Injury prevention, right? OK. I'll chill out. Do some yoga. Weight training.

In other news to my readers - I know that some that know me that come across this blog might not have an enthusiasm for running the way I do. If you find this blog triggering, or upsetting in any way, please don't read it. This is the way I've found to cope with stressors in my life, one of the major ones being a consciousness of mortality, and a willingness to do what I can to put myself in the best odds. I don't expect anyone to make the same choices I do. To each their own. Take care of yourself. This is how I'm trying to take care of myself.

Yoga Today, and more TnT

I started my morning with some much needed yoga. I used Shiva Rea's Solar Flow Yoga, which is an invigorating vinyasa program that has the option of mixing and matching the programs together. It's not for a novice, and requires the ability to flow in and out of asanas quickly, but it's exactly what I like. I should do this more often. I spend so much time running, and not enough being still, or just being in one place. I figure this might be a good counterbalance to all that pavement pounding.

The Team in Training sent a flood (ok, just a phone call and an email) to check in and remind of the upcoming kick-off. I'm not bailing out yet, because I signed up for this, and frankly, maybe I *can* do it without too much stress. The fundraising is a little stressful, though. I'm far more worried about that than running 26.2 miles (though truthfully, I may just go for 13.1). We'll see! I just don't want to be in debt!!

Take care - have a great weekend!

If you're looking for something to do, my scuba friends with Girl Diver are hosting an Earth Day event, Girl Diver Goes Green (Not with Envy)

Plant a Tree! Spread some mulch! Come help GirlDiver & People of Puget Sound celebrate the 40th Anniversary of EARTH DAY with restoration of North Wind's Weir located at Seattle's Duwamish River. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!!!

No diving required - but a great group of people doing good stuff.

Four Miles - and Team in Training Doubts

Today I did my four mile run in the fastest time yet - just over 45 minutes. I even did some hills, even though today was to be a flat run day. You try finding a flat surface that's more than a few blocks in any Seattle neighborhood! I can't find it, that's for sure!

I was sluggish on my run, but I think I did pretty well. I need to figure out my appropriate running food is. I think that some research must be in order.

As for the Team in Training - oof. I think I'm going to choose to opt-out. I'll have more on this in my primary blog.

Saturday is my five mile run. I think I'm going to start looking for a local women's running group (if Team in Training doesn't work out, which is likely.)

BTW, if you're reading this, holla!

Team in Training

Uh oh, what have I gotten myself into?

Yesterday I went to the Washington/Alaska chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training informational meeting held at the REI flagship.

I am SUCH A SUCKER.

No doubt that they do good work (they have a 3 out of 4 star rating through Charity Navigator), and considering the healthcare gaps in this nation, and the expense of fighting cancer, I'm glad that there are organizations that help fill in the gaps with emotional and material support to families who are undergoing treatment for serious (and expensive) diseases.

However, there are a gazillion other charities that I'm also fond of and wanting to give my time to. Many of them local (think globally, act locally, etc.)

The thing is, not all charities have distance training as part of their draw.

And so I went to the info meeting, plopped down $50 to start (and got a moisture-wicking t-shirt), and signed up to train for a marathon in October.

The catch is that in order to get to the end point of all this, the marathon, not only do I have to train, but I have to raise $3200 (maybe less) for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by October. I don't have that money in my bank account (and I know that many of the people I know also don't.) They assured me that we will learn how to fund raise - and yes, this is what I'm worried about, not the actual marathon.

I can back out at any time before July - though I'm sure there's pressure to not do so. I will have only lost $50 (to a good cause) and gained 2 months or so of training. I'm so intimidated!

Also - a half marathon is a crazy distance. A whole marathon? OMG.

I'll be thinking on this for awhile.

In the mean time: My Fundraising Page

3 mile training run with 6 100m sprints

I've been up since 4:30am this morning, since my husband had to catch an early flight for work. It was grey until just a bit ago, and I ran out of time to waste if I was going to get my training run in before I had to be anywhere. A cup of coffee offered me only sporadic energy, so I went out feeling a little drained. Lack of sleep (thanks partially to some before-bed chocolate) made me sluggish and cranky, but I did rather well, keeping a pace of 11:26 min/mi. Despite thinking I was running a flat route, my Garmin let me know I was actually had an elevation change of over 700 ft!

I have a four mile hilly run on Thursday, and a five mile on Saturday - which I think I'll do at Green Lake or some other pretty park area.

I was a bit baffled by the sprints part of my training - I'm considering seeing a sports doctor/trainer to see how I can maximize my running and minimize the impact on my body. My bunions are not happy!

My First Run with Garmin Forerunner 405CX

Yesterday was my first run with my Garmin Forerunner 405CX. It's an expensive wrist computer, to say the least, but giving me a new dedication to properly training.

It was difficult finding a GPS heart rate monitor that fit my tiny wrists. At first, I wasn't going to get the Garmin because at it's tightest it still was loose on my wrist. Luckily, it comes with a fabric strap that cinches down tighter. The weight on the 405cx (and the 405) is more evenly distributed than the 305, and the more blocky models, which makes me more comfortable running with it. It syncs wirelessly to my computer (another huge plus!) and gives me great graphs for both my route and heart rate. Seriously, the amount of data that I get is unbelievable.

Yesterday I went for my four mile training run in the neighborhood. I wore my Nike + SportBand as well, to see if I could properly calibrate my steps. The run was challenging (especially in the midday warmth which I haven't experienced this year.) I got through it, though, and every day seem to be running faster.

I'm really impressed with what the Garmin has to offer. It's definitely an investment, but I think that if you're serious about training (and I dare say I am), it's worth it. I still love my Nike+ SportBand, and believe it's the best $60 you can spend to start running and getting some stats.

Sunday Recipe: Moroccan Apricot Couscous

Here's a recent low-point and filling recipe that worked like a charm. Highly recommended!

Moroccan Apricot Couscous
(from Tyler Florence's recipe Moroccan Chicken with Apricot Couscous and Green Olive Sauce in Flat Bread)

Weight Watchers POINTS® Value: 3 (Calculated using eTools)
Servings: 6

Level of Difficulty: Easy
Course: side dishes

Ingredients
1 cup uncooked couscous
1 1/2 cups water, warm
10 pieces dried apricots
1/4 cup almonds, whole, toasted
2 medium scallion(s), green parts only
1 cup fresh mint
1 cup fresh cilantro
1/2 medium lemon, juiced
2 tsp olive oil, drizzled
1 tsp kosher salt, to taste
1 tsp black pepper, freshly ground, to taste

Instructions

Put the couscous in a medium bowl; pour the water over it, stir with a fork to combine. Cover and let sit for 10 to 15 minutes, then uncover and fluff with a fork. Put the apricots, almonds, green onions, mint, and cilantro on a cutting board and coarsely chop everything up; add this to the couscous. Add lemon juice, drizzle with olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Toss gently to combine.

Rock Riot Run 5K and New Toy

I did the Rock Riot Run 5K today, despite not getting enough sleep, and barely finding the starting point. It was a small run, I think the first ever, and is part of UW on-campus events to reduce dating violence and address domestic violence issues. I was definitely a decade older than many of the organizers and participants.

I completed the 5K in 33 minutes and 58 seconds. I couldn't believe I actually did a 5K, because my Nike+ SportBand was telling me that I only did 2.79 miles. Then it occured to me - it's not calibrated right! I barely really calibrated it, and really didn't properly do so when I first got it. I've been actually runnning MORE than I thought I was, meaning my actual times are really better than I assumed.

I said to myself, "That's it, I'm getting a GPS."

I checked out a few places, and finally settled on the too-big for my wrist (but just good enough) all the bells-and-whistles I want (ooh! touch sensitive bezel!) in the Garmin Forerunner 405CX GPS Sport Watch with Heart Rate Monitor. I'm looking forward to trying out this bad boy come Monday (or tomorrow, if I can't wait that long.) It's hard to find a user friendly GPS and HRM that also syncs to the computer. I'll still be wearing my Nike+ SportBand, but I'll at least be able to properly calibrate it.

Over all, a very successful day. I'm pumped to start signing up for my next race challenges. Whose gonna join me?

Lazy Friday Before the Race

Tomorrow I am planning to get up early (for a Saturday) and do the Rock Riot Run 5K to benefit the Eastside Domestic Violence Program. It was an inexpensive 5K, and a way to keep me motivated on this journey, so I'm rather looking forward to it. My biggest concern is if the weather will hold out. The weather in Seattle the past couple days has been completely schizophrenic. Sunny skies one minute, hail and clouds the next. I can only hope I'll be properly prepared for my 3.1 miles.

In other news, I'm excited to write that I have officially put my name in the lottery to do the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon in San Francisco this October. A friend of mine, Emily, recently completed the Lavaman triathlon and signed up for the lottery for the 1/2 marathon. Given she's been my workout buddy for 5 years (mostly in spirit due to her living in the Bay area), I felt like I absolutely had to join her. I'm very excited, and hope I get in. I hear there's a fireman that hands you your Tiffany finishers necklace!

Weight Watchers (the system I've used to get in shape the past two years) is holding their Walk-it Challenge the next two months. Their challenge is to walk a 5K by June 6. I will be running a 5K this weekend, and will be training for the LIVESTRONG Challenge later in June. There's a drawing for those of us who go to meetings to attend meetings during this time, and enter to win a trip to one of the prime walking cities in the US. I'm crossing my fingers on that one.

Sorry that it's more of a personal post today - I hadn't planned on anything, so you get things off the top of my head as filler! Enjoy! Wish me speed on my 5K tomorrow!

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Here's a follow-up from yesterday's post.

The other day I treated myself to a regular trip to Nordstrom Rack to try on ridiculously expensive designer jeans. Naturally, though I was feeling thinner, the moon was conspiring against me.

Not to mention, my body still ached from my first 5 mile attempt.

And that morning, I got a reply from a friend, on learning my pace for that 5 mile, that really, I'm not jogging, it's more of a fast walk.

Oof.

Except that I know, despite my slow pace, I am technically jogging. In competitive speed walking, I recall people are disqualified for running, meaning having only one foot on the ground at a time. Even some of the beginning training programs I've found talk about your first jogging pace feels more like stumbling along as you work up your cardio ability.

I'm a bit sensitive, I know. I've dealt with a constant fear of not being good enough, and that translates both into competitiveness and defensiveness. At worst, it translates into me not even trying, or quitting before I really gave it a go.

The Tortoise and the Hare didn't teach me what it was meant to. At the end, I was never impressed with the Tortoise, though he won. He was dull, slow, lethargic and single minded. He was also smug. The hare, though a bit of an asshole, I saw as ultimately being an interesting character. He's overzealous, a bit of a braggart, but just seemed like more fun.

I'm hoping I'm neither - and that in the end, I'll be more whatever animal relishes in fartleks. Here's hoping.

"May I ask a simple question – how did you start running?"

I got an email in my inbox recently, which prompted me to respond to the question of how I started running. Here's my updated (and long) response.

I started running as a sort of "what the hell" kind of thing. I figured I'd give it a try. I picked up the Runner's World Guide to Women's Running and read through the first few chapters. Then I got my gear. I weighed about 195 lbs at the time, and at that point had been easily able to walk 3 mi or more (and often did on a regular basis.) I don't think that the answer is putting on shoes and going out - it's actually a bit more complicated than that. Here's my
personal list of how to approach starting to run:

1. Know your current skill level. Can you walk for 30 minutes to an hour at a reasonable pace?
2. Get fitted for running shoes. Expect to spend $85-100. Go to Super Jock and Jill (near Green Lake) or another running store that specifically fits you for your running shoes. They should sit down with you, watch you take a few strides, and have you try on (and take a brief jog) in 4 or so pairs of shoes. Expect to spend about 30 minutes doing this. You will learn about what type of runner you are, and what kind of support you need when running. Don't pick a shoe because it's pretty or popular. Pick the one that feels the best, and gives you the support you need. This can help prevent injury.
3. Invest in a good sports bra. The Moving Comfort bras are my absolute favorite. I recommend Title Nine for fitting if you don't know what size you are, which is also near Green Lake.
4. Get a heart rate monitor, preferably one with a chest strap. I use the Polar F11 Women's Heart Rate Monitor WatchThis will allow you to keep tabs on your heart rate, and will basically tell you when you're over-exerting yourself, and when you could step it up a bit. This is your best defense against turning red and having someone call 911. That, and getting to know your own limits.
5. This is optional, but I truly believe it helps - get fancy tech fabric moisture wicking shorts and shirts. I like the Nike Women's Pacer Running Shorts and Nike Women's Short Sleeve Pacer Baselayer Shirt. The tech fabric helps lessen chafing, and keeps you cool and dry.
6. Browse Runner's World - don't bother with a subscription. They have some great training programs and tips to get you started.
7. Optional: Invest in a cold pack for your knees or other tender areas for your post-jog.
8. Optional: I love my Nike+ Sport Band. It doesn't do everything I want the gadget to do, but I love the Nike+ website, and I love the gadget. It's also a low price for such a nifty tool.
   
9. Set a goal. Example, "In 12 weeks, I will go to a 5k walk/run (aka "fun run")"

Disclaimer: Talk to your doctor about starting any training program. This is what I did, your milage may vary! The method I started with was to do my training in a 30 minute block. For the first week, I did 3-4 days of 10 minutes walking at the fastest pace I felt comfortable, then 2 minutes jogging, 2 minutes walking (alternating) until I reached the 20 minute mark. Then, I spent the last 10 minutes walking. This is an 8 week program that gradually brings you up to jogging the full 30 minutes. Another option is to use your heart rate monitor, and find out what your optimal cardio zone is (the monitor should come with this information). Then you go out and walk/run depending on where you are in the zone. If you need to boost your heart rate, you jog, if you need to lower it, you walk.

I did all my run/walking in the neighborhood I lived in, which at the time was basically flat for Seattle. Now I'm in a more hilly neighborhood, so it's a little tougher to find a good flat route to start on, but I found one that mostly works. Green Lake has walkers and runners of all fitness levels. It can be crowded and intimidating, but you're not alone. There are people just like you, some even at lower fitness levels, out there doing their thing, going around the lake. Even the fastest runners had to start somewhere. I would think to myself when I'd get self-conscious, "Oh yeah, I know you d think I'm slow, but I'm awesome, I'm out here doing it!" I'm still a really slow runner, but this blog is a testament to my goals. :)

Week 2 of Training

I decided, after a week of trying to train on my own that I needed an actual training program. Luckily, my Nike + SportBand links up to the Nike+ site, which includes a community as well as a Coach program, with choices ranging from just starting out to marathon. I chose the 5K training, and coincidentally, should get me prepped in time for the LIVESTRONG Challenge in June. I'm still coming to grips with the idea that by late may, I will be expected to run SEVEN miles in one day. It will be interesting to look back on this, if I actually can do the 5K in 30 minutes or less, and say "yes, this training worked."

I am still on the hunt for a women's running social group. I meant to dive into one of the running stores around Green Lake on Sunday to see, but was so exhausted after my 5 mile jog that I just went straight home.

As far as the fund raising goes, on Monday morning I was treated to another carrot to raise money for LIVESTRONG - every $250 I raise, I'm entered to win one of ten tickets to see U2 at Safeco Field the night of the run. I know I'll get to my $250, but man - even if I don't love U2 the way I used to, it sure would be nice to get free tickets to see the spectacle!

Today is my 3 mile run day. Wish me speed!

Different Skin

I used to weigh 100+ pounds more than I do today. I look in the mirror, and on the scale, and know that I have more to lose. This is despite getting statements occasionally where some people I know believe that I've completed my weight loss journey. In truth, I have about 25-30 pounds to go, and I've been staying pretty level, without any big poundage losses, for over a year.

I won't tell that same trite sob story about how "food is my drug" and how it was my crutch, etc, etc. Maybe it was, once upon a time. Meanwhile, I've always loved to move my body, even when I was at my heaviest. I'd get funny looks when I was 250+ pounds, and would tell people I'd regularly go to the gym. In fact, I was doing 60 minutes of cardio, and sometimes another 60 minutes of weights three times a week. I've always walked at least a mile a day, just without thinking. The food part? Food is tasty when it's good, prepared food is almost always underwhelming and under-satisfying, and when I'm not satisfied, I want to be satisfied, so I eat more, as if my belly stretching tells me I'm satisfied. (It actually just tells me I'm stuffed.)

To say the least, I'm living in a different skin. I looked in the mirror one day, over two years ago, and said that I was done wearing that skin. I've used Weight Watchers the entire time on my journey, and though the meetings may be scary to some, I definitely lose more weight when I'm going to meetings than when I'm doing it with their eTools.

Long story short - what I'm getting at is that I'm having to come to grips that I'm a different person. I'm not the fat girl any more. I can shop almost anywhere for clothing (aside from haute couture). I'm active, and I run. I don't get funny looks when I shop for athletic clothing. I get pleasant and even fun small talk from other fitness enthusiasts, who look at me as a peer. I still eat the things that are delicious, but I've managed to cut out a lot of the things that frankly, I don't need, and aren't that delicious (or functional.)

No, I need chocolate. I still have chocolate.

But I don't eat an entire pint of ice cream, except on a very rare basis. Hamburgers and french fries, also, a rare occurrence. Pasta is regular, but the portions are smaller (Most restaurant portions are probably 2-4 cups of cooked pasta, a portion is 1 cup.) Meat? Well, there are many reasons to eat less meat. I try to cut my portions to no more than 3-4 ounces of meat for dinner (and seldom, meat for lunch). Consider it's nearly impossible to find a burger, chicken breast, or steak at a restaurant that is less than 4 ounces these days.

I do enjoy what I eat, and since I count the calories of alcohol as well, this past year of grief and stress has me turning to pleasure as an escape - and this is why I go over my Weight Watchers points (and break even on the scale.) Alcohol, I've found, is seldom worth drinking more than the slightest edge of tipsy. (That's one drink for me.) Chocolate? Ice cream? Cupcake? Ah. Once a week (or more, depending on the moon), I find myself indulging. It's easy to do the rationalizing. Especially when it's just a few Points over the line for the week. (Oops!)

If all goes well, I'll be visiting Chicago at the end of the summer, at my goal weight, visiting friends who have never really known me for any period of time other than the large, loud girl.

I'm learning who I am, in this context. It's a bit of a, how you say, mindfuck?

Running in Bad Weather, Go to the Gym

Yesterday, the forecast was for winds around 50 miles per hour. That, plus 45°F temps and rain made me want to stay inside. I'm naturally cold, with frosty hands on warm days. I also ridiculously gave my warmer jogging gear to Goodwill because it was too big. Too big is still warmer!

I headed to my gym, which is a small inexpensive place a few blocks away from my house. I haven't been in for a few weeks as that I've been spending most of my exercise time road running. When the weather is nice, who wants to be in a windowless basement gym?

Yesterday, I did. I packed up my padlock and card, threw my North Face jacket over my running clothes and braced for the cold walk to the gym. Once there, I got on the treadmill, and found that within a few minutes I was in a constant state of "Am I done yet?" Running on a treadmill is so unbelievably boring for me, and though I only needed to jog 2 miles, this was 2 excruciatingly boring miles! Thankfully, a completely hyperbolic Law and Order: Criminal Intent was on, and hooked me in the last third of the show. Sociopathic boy? Kyle McLachlan? Creepy and interesting! Complete mind candy! Wow, that mile went by pretty fast.

I'm intimidated because Sunday I have a 5 mile run planned, and hope to do it around Green Lake. I might need to bring my own NCIS on my iPhone if I'm forced to run on the treadmill. I'm just not a cold running person.

How to Tie your Shoes

I had a subscription to Runner's World for about a year - and it was about 6-7 months into it that I realized it was mostly the same stuff regurgitated over and over again. It was a cheap subscription, though, and it cost about as much as the few that I was willing to buy off of the newstand.

One article that was useful, and I still find useful, is Fit to be Tied, a tutorial on properly tying your running shoes. I was surprised to find out that I was not tying my shoes the right way - and found that by using their technique, I was able to refrain from double-knotting, as that my well-tied shoes stayed good and tight through a whole running or gym session.